mama liz

Peace Vigil

Mon, 14 Apr 2003 15:15:25 GMT

We went to the community vigil last night. Not many people showed up, but we will continue going. Part of the problem was that they changed the time 2 hours before the vigil.

A person (minister?) from the local baptist church (not southern baptist - more liberal baptist) seems to have organized these vigils. She read a really good Merton quote about being dissapointed when our work doesn't seem to stop the war. I am taking this as a statement about being present in our work. I am definitly being more present this week.

Morgen is home for school break. We seem to be having a good time together.

Allergy alert

Thu, 10 Apr 2003 15:51:40 GMT

When tears are streaming down my cheeks, I am probably having an allergy attack. I don't have them often, but when I do they are pissers. Especially when they affect my entire immune system and put me on chemo for a month or two. I need to check the taxes I did yesterday.

I traditionally go on chemo in may That is one of the many reasons we believe that my auto-immune disease is triggered by allergies.

I have not been on chemo since last june. This might be a record, or it might just be that i was so sick with other things (like staph) that the auto-immune disease never got all that strong this year.

I didn't knit at all yesterday. I did taxes today. I plan to finish the foot of morgen's sock today - at least enough to split for the heel. I also need to pick up the gussets on the last grey sock. I am getting depressed about finding a job - it might be time to do more work on the pele sweater. It was a great idea when I designed it (in 97) but it DOES seem to burn my eyes right now. Of course a sweater dedicated to pele probably SHOULD burn my eyes.

Looking for needles

Thu, 10 Apr 2003 01:45:54 GMT

I would kill for 2 or 3 sets of Rhodo Nacre doublepoints in size 0 and 1. Even incomplete sets. I have never found a needle better than them for socks.

I haven't knit at all today. I did taxes today instead. Going to kill my beloved for not putting in his quarterlies last year. I hope he does better this year. We are deducting the home office for the first time in 20 years, but this is the first time that ALL his work has gone on there. I know it will stand up to an audit, and I don't expect an audit anyway.

I actually enjoy doing taxes in a very strange way.

Still up

Mon, 07 Apr 2003 08:01:15 GMT

It is 4 in the morning and I am still awake. Part of it is that I got stuck in front of the TV. The other part is feeling guilty/worried about not working.

The Stitch & Bitch wasn't as full as it could have been, but with everything that has been happening in the family, I don't know if I could have handled more people. All the adults went to therapy on Saturday afternoon, and came up with both agreements and a written document for everybody to consult when things go into question.

I am very worried about David. I really wish he would go back to a therapist and get medication.

A very bad day

Thu, 03 Apr 2003 23:03:18 GMT

I think I am at the heel of my second gray sock. This might be the only positive thing that happened today.

My daughter is trying to run away. This is not good. My husband is reacting by falling into a bottle. I just sent him to his girlfriend, he is going to wash our quilts there (our machine is too small for queen sized quilts). Girl is staying at a girlfriend's (better not be with her boyfriend).

I have had may better days.

Knitting stuff

Wed, 02 Apr 2003 21:29:04 GMT

I am determined to at least blog about my knitting daily.

I have been obsessed with socks recently. I am almost finished with my 3rd pair in as many weeks. I make them from the toe up, using Priscilla Gibson-Roberts vertical cast on toe. I then use a standard round turned heel. This works very well as long as you don't want a contrasting heel. I know I could do the gusset first and get a decent contrasting heel, but I don't want to.

I am not using the middle-eastern heel because I have a very long heel and I like the way a long heel flap feels better. I am also not doing a lot of color patterning. Mostly because I don't especially like knitting fair isle. I can do it well enough, have certainly made enough sweaters, hats etc using the technique, it just bores and frustrates me.

Actually these socks are short socks for huge feet. The cuff is short because I like either short socks or knee socks. Knitting the leg of knee socks is even more boring than knitting sleeves. So no knee socks. Besides, at 50, I can live without knee socks.

Wow - a decent song

Wed, 02 Apr 2003 20:42:07 GMT

I was waiting for a good anti-war song to come out of this war. One has - Billy Bragg's Price of Oil. Pick it up (I got it at Salon) and listen to it.

On more mundane stuff, how does any family come up with quite this much laundry? Maybe it just looks like so much because I don't fold it. I am a total failure at these housewifely things - unless I am cooking. I really do appreciate my own cooking.

I miss having a maid.

Our letters to the AP

Tue, 01 Apr 2003 18:52:32 GMT

From Liz

Please stop using the term "pro-troops". This term is both divisive and insulting in the context of this war.

I don't know anybody who isn't "pro-troops". I am an anti-war activist, but of course I am "pro-troops". They are professional soldiers and volunteers who are obeying orders.

I am personally against this war. I am against most wars. I don't want to see anybody killed, our troops or anybody else's. I am for health care, housing, and full employment. I want to see the VA getting all the money it needs. I want our troops to be able to get jobs when they leave their service to this country. I want troops to earn enough money that their families can lead a decent life without food stamps.

I am against the policies of neoconservative chickenhawks such as Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz who ignore expert advice from our professional soldiers and statesman. I am against a battle planned by amateurs which is causing our soldiers to not have adequate logistical support.

Please stop using this meaningless term. We are all "pro-troops". It is just that some of us are anti-war.

From mg

Please discontinue using the phrase "pro-troops". I've seen it used as
if it were an antonym for "anti-war". "pro-troops" would describe me and everyone I know, whether they support the war or not.
It is not a useful qualifier, but it creates the appearance
of there being a divisive issue where there is none.

I am personally against the Iraq war and just about everything
the Bush administration does, but I certainly don't wish ill
to *anyone*, let alone my own country's professional soldiers
who happen to be forced to take ill-conceived orders from the
Bush White House. They're just doing their job, and they're doing
it extremely well under the circumstances.

Come to think of it, the only ones who have consistently shown a disregard for the welfare of our troops are the neocon chickenhawks like
Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz who ignored expert advice from the professionals,
and rushed them into battle without backing them up with adequate logistical support.

Things are getting better

Sun, 30 Mar 2003 16:34:22 GMT

The new antibiotics should be here tomorrow. I have to use canadian pharmacies now, can't afford to get my drugs any other way. This makes the doctor and I think twice about quantities. Luckily, I am on Keflax so often that I don't mind owning 100 of them.

The kid and I seem to be getting on. This is good, it is a bitch not being able to stay in the same house as your teenager without grinding your teeth.

Rummy should be jailed as a war criminal. Bush too, probably.

What a week

Fri, 28 Mar 2003 18:51:54 GMT

I have been fighting with my daughter all week. Inappropriate boyfriend stuff. We will get over it, but I can't say it is fun.

I hate this war. I feel paralyzed. I am also on two seperate antibiotics which take everything out of me....so I haven't been marching.

I HATE THIS

Tue, 18 Mar 2003 01:51:07 GMT

Today is my 50th birthday. We are going to war.

Voting Machines

Mon, 10 Mar 2003 19:12:35 GMT

I really need to find a political science person to help me here. What I *REALLY* need is a county clerk with some spare time.

I am really excited about the project, just need a lot more people to be involved.

Wow

Mon, 24 Feb 2003 02:06:21 GMT

I wonder how many other middle aged people screamed at their mates - COME HERE NOW when Simon & Garfunkel came on stage. It was amazing. I loved it. It was absolutely the perfect political statement to start the grammy awards with.

I never heard Gwen Stefani before (I don't watch MTV or VH1). My daughter is right - she IS GOOD.

I am still not sure about a white guy winning the best rap album - but I hate rap anyway.

Cleaning

Sun, 23 Feb 2003 15:23:38 GMT

I can't believe it but you can almost see the floor in the basement now. With all the people coming over next week, I decided that my lair should be at least clean enough to walk in. It gets real dirty with morgen and I both using it. Right now it is full of scraps of yarn and quilting materials.

I have pretty much decided to start a new project - an open-source voting machine project. I can do the business layers before I have any idea what the hardware is going to be like. Of course this means I now have to get a group together to work with me. I am actually excited about this project.

What did we not do

Sun, 16 Feb 2003 15:17:20 GMT

mg and I were talking at dinner while reading the Nation. He couldn't figure out how we got this idiot of a president. I pointed out that I kept saying I had taken my turn in the 60's and 70's and was just too old, tired and crippled to do lots now. He always said that he was busy working.

Maybe our country did get what we deserve. But I doubt that the rest of the world deserves us.

I am on the green's mailing list. They sound like all the worst things about UU board meetings. I think I will stay a democrat.

Mon, 10 Feb 2003 19:19:43 GMT

Two people who I never met but heard of died this week. B's death probably hit me harder, I have been talking to his wife for years, and our lives parallel each other. I keep worry about mg just dying the same way, and I have no idea how I could cope. I need him emotionally, we have no savings, I have no job, I love him. I am afraid that I would simply kill myself if mg died like this.

In my other world, I would have finished the heel of the first of the blue/red socks if I hadn't had to leave for morgen's birthday dinner. The dinner went beautifully and I really like her new friends.

Not done much

Mon, 03 Feb 2003 00:59:50 GMT

I am calm. I guess that means something. Playing Mordor compulsively, knitting sock toes (so morgen can knit the rest of the sock - she is not quite skilled enough yet to do vertical cast-on sock toes). Re-reading Kate Elliot - I only just unpacked them after 3 years. I still think she is an amazingly skilled writer.

I flipped out this weekend over the space shuttle. Now I am getting better. Over carbed on comfort food.

Heard from my little brother - the one who works on fuel cells. I think I understand them better now. My niece is doing well.

I have noticed that every time I pass the altar and see the candle I stop and center. mg seems to do something like that also. Useful that it is in the middle of the living room. We have done this now for years, but I never really paid attention to my reactions before.

Feeling Better

Thu, 30 Jan 2003 13:18:00 GMT

I woke up at 7 after 11 hours of sleep. That is a LOT of sleep - but I woke up in a good mood. Not any of this flustered, frantic feel I have had the past few days. I haven't read the papers yet, so I am a little less angry than usual in the morning.

The dishwasher has been fixed. $75 so a man can spend an hour figuring out that a plug has become unset. Sometime today I will do 2 or 3 loads of dishes. Not yet though - I don't want to wake mg up. I also plan to do some knitting preparatory to the knit-in that morgen and I are going to on Saturday. I haven't seen the knitting people in a number of years - this should be interesting. I wonder if it will be the same group they were when I met Robyn there 11 years ago. Robyn and I both immediately stopped going, we had met each other - and I think that is the reason we went there in the first place.

Robyn and I are getting along better again. I wish morgen and rachel would make up so that I could stop having to listen to the bullshit coming off of robyn.

Pigged out

Wed, 29 Jan 2003 10:59:16 GMT

I woke up too early yesterday (and much too early today - had to get morgen to the train station by 5:30). Overcarbed big time on spagetti and pineapple. No excuse - but I am craving citrus right now. The big problem with this diet is lack of morning citrus. I am trying to see if I can tweak it to add morning citrus without screwing with my insulin.

I fell asleep halfway through the president's speech. What I heard was extremely underwelming. I got the first part, now I am going to relisten to the Iraq part. Morgen seems to think that he said we are going in.

Dishwasher repairman is due this morning. We are going to pay for it instead of getting the terrible service (warranty) from bray & scarf. The kitchen is carpetted with dirty dishes at this point.

Cooking wine

Tue, 28 Jan 2003 10:34:00 GMT

I woke up at 5:30 to find he wasn't in bed. This is pretty upsetting. Turns out he got drunk last night and fell asleep in the basement. He thought I was not going to notice that he drank the wine I bought for cooking? Drank 1 1/2 bottles of wine last night - I hope he has a hangover.

I HATE THIS - ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. Sometimes I feel like I should just join alanon and be over it.

Awake

Sun, 26 Jan 2003 11:16:11 GMT

I got at least 7 hours in last night, plus the naps I took yesterday. Morgen has now slept at least 10 hours (unless she woke up while I was sleeping). Maybe there is a mild bug going around.

It is still too early in the morning to blast tunes, but I really am in the mood to knit to music. Not sure if I actually will though.

I wish there was something politically I could do immediately. I am so scared of what is happening in the country right now.

The post had ZERO new job openings for web, java or XML. Maybe the sunday postings are not up yet? All last week the postings were ALL from Northrup and Booz Allen. I am scared. I need a job.

Sleeping Sickness?

Sun, 26 Jan 2003 02:11:47 GMT

I have slept almost all day, and now I am planning to sleep tonight. I hope to get back on track with my sleep this way.

Yesterday we had the first of what I hope will be regular stitch and bitches. I really enjoyed it. Spam came, I haven't seen him in a few years. Amazing how nice it is to see old friends. I would acutally leave the house to visit with him and his. A woman I had never met before but had corresponded with, and one who I met a few years ago. I think I will try this again next month. Morgen really enjoyed it.

I am watching a special on Wynonna. I have such a crush on her - I think she is about as gorgeous as a woman can be. I like her best when she is at her heaviest - but I know she hates her weight. I would love to meet that woman - probably the only celeb I really feel this way about.

I really want to do this radio thing, now I need to find somebody to do it with.

I am going to do at least 1 inch of the pele sweater tomorrow - at least that is my goal. This is not easy - I change yarns about every 5 or 6 stitches...it looks like a tangle to everybody else.

I did my civic duty

Tue, 21 Jan 2003 18:52:01 GMT

I went with a group of volunteers from moveon.org to Congressmen Davis's office. We met with his District Director. I thought the meeting went well.

Those insane Americans

Sun, 19 Jan 2003 17:25:01 GMT

Read it and weep http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,482-543296,00.html .

Not Marching

Sat, 18 Jan 2003 14:30:44 GMT

It is just too cold for me to do a march in a wheelchair (and I am still not sure if my ass will fit in my wheelchair). The problem is that morgen really doesn't want to do this march without me, so she is staying home.

I finally got the magazines organized today. I immediately found the pattern I need for the brooch. I will glue it today.